Sleepless Nights
by Crystal Jaganshi
Summary: Temari, unable to sleep, goes out for a walk finds herself standing in front of Shikamaru's apartment and upon sneaking inside, tries to discover what he really means to her.


Sleepless Night

Temari could not sleep.

She didn't know why or what was causing her inability to sleep but all she knew was that she couldn't. And that she was sitting up in bed staring at the hotel wall.

Temari glanced a t the clock and saw it was about 1:30. She sighed and pushed the covers back and walked up to the mirror. She was wearing a grey tanktop without a bra and black shorts, for the middle of the night, she was decent enough. She grabbed her hotel key, slipped on a pair of flip flops, and left her hotel room.

Temari didn't know where she was going or where she wanted to go, only knowing that she wanted to go somewhere. Thankfully the night was warm as it was summer in Konoha. Temari sighed and was happy that she was in Konoha. In Suna, there was no way she would she could be walking out like this. Scorching during the day, freezing at night was the way the desert rolled.

She began to walk through the empty market place and smiled, remembering how earlier that day she had dragged Shikamaru through here to help her shop for Kankuro's birthday which was coming up soon. She didn't find anything but it didn't matter really. She supposed she just really wanted to be with Shikamaru.

She supposed she shouldn't have forced him to come and she felt a little bad about it. The thing was if she didn't force him she doubted he would come at all. Then again, she never tried asking him if he wanted to come, it was always a demand. Temari sighed guiltily. Did he even like her as a friend? Sure they had worked together for years and they were defiantly acquaintances but they had never done anything freely together. It was always her saying they should go to lunch or check out the market or go relax and play a game of shogi.

Why did she treat him that way? Did she really need his presence that badly? Lately however she had been getting an odd feeling around him. It wasn't hot or nervous or bashful it was… peaceful. She felt so tranquil round him and it seemed that no one else could give her that sense of peace and contentment. What did he do that made her feel so clam inside? How did he, just by standing next to her, tame the beast inside her?

Temari stopped walking when she realized she was in front of his apartment. Was this why she was restless? Because she wanted him? There was only one way to find out. Temari jumped up onto the roof and jumped own to the overhang outside of his window. The widow was open most of the way, allowing warm air to journey into his apartment. She peered inside and noticed the trap he had set on the floor. If a single hair landed on it, she would be caught in the shadow. If she was able to jump close to his bed, it wouldn't be a problem and she could wake him up.

She walked over to the edge of the windowsill and crouched just before she jumped and landed neatly right next to his bedside. She made sure to land a bit straight and she was glad she did as she felt the immediate reaction of the shadows on the floor grasp her. Shikamaru seemed to still be dozing, his back facing her. Temari frowned, she didn't want to wake him up, that would be awkward. But how else was she supposed to be free of the shadow justu?

Temari cleared her throat but Shikamaru made no respone. She coughed again and again she was met with no response. She frowned, upset that she had to actually say something

"Um…"

She paused, not really know what to say. She most certainly couldn't be like 'Oh hi. I couldn't sleep and thought I would drop by and say hello because I can't stop think about you.' She could ask him to release the justu though. Maybe that would help break the ice.

"Um listen ca-"

"You listen." He sneered spitefully and Temari's insides froze. She had never heard him use such an angry tone before. "You can stand there for the rest of the night and then when I get up we'll see if I feel like releasing you."

Temari's eyes fell, downcast. Why were his words tearing into her like thousands of knives? Why did it hurt so much to hear him talk to her like that? She was the one that intruded in his home. She was foolish, thinking she could come here in the middle of the night especially when she knew that he loves to sleep. What was she hoping to accomplish by coming here?

Temari frowned. When did she become so weak with emotion? Why was she letting him affect her this way? If he gave her a sense of peace, why come out here like this and repay him by bothering him during his favorite time of day? He brothers would laugh at her foolish display of weakness.

"Temari?"

Her head shot up at her name being asked in disbelief and sure enough she was staring into the shocked eyes of Nara Shikamaru. She stumbled a little as the shadows removed their hold on her and she felt him grab her arm, to keep her from falling.

"What are you doing here?" He asked worriedly. "Is everything alright?"

She stared at him in a complete loss of words. He gaze, intently staring at her made her feel… happy. She was happy that he was worried about her. She didn't answer him however and she was planning on just leaving but he pulled her onto his bed. He moved closer towards the wall and gestured for her to sit and lean against the backboard.

She did as he asked and sat there for a while. He didn't pressure her, didn't ask her a thousand questions, he just watched and waited. Then finally she spoke.

"I couldn't sleep. I don't know why. So I went for a walk and I found myself here."

She must sound so stupid, like a lovesick puppy. Maybe even stalkerish. Either way she knew she sounded dumb and she knew that he didn't want to be bothered with that. She turned to get off the bed and leave when she felt his hand grab her arm.

"Where are you going?"

"Back."

"Why?"

"… because I am."

"I thought you couldn't sleep."

"I can't."

"So stay here."

"And interrupt your sleep even more than I already have? The sleep that you love so much?"

"Temari, if you're having trouble with something it's okay."

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why is it okay?"

He looked at her bewildered, like the answer was obvious. "Because you're my friend."

"How am I your friend?" Temari felt the oncoming rush of emotion overtake her, as much as she didn't want it to, and she continued, "How am I your friend when I force you to do everything with me? I don't feel like a friend to you. I feel like I've been deluding myself."

"Temari I-" He said gently but she held up her hand, indicating she wanted to continue speaking.

"It's just that… you are almost my equal. You are the only one to best me, to be one step ahead of me and I love the never ending challenge of trying to get the one up on you. And when I'm around you I- I feel so peaceful. As though nothing could anger me. Ad yet at the same time, it's sacred and fragile." She said and she cupped her hands as though she were holding a fragile ball of glass in them. "And so special." She added. "So very special." She whispered again, more to herself.

She leaned her head back against the headboard and closed her eyes. "Sorry for being so emotional, I know it's not like me but-"

"Don't be sorry. Ever. You could never do anything wrong towards me." Shikamaru said softly and moved her head back up and looked at him curiously.

"What are you talking about? I do that every day."

"No. You don't. Temari, I-"

"Look, you don't need to be worried or whatever it is you feel. I just… I don't know. I don't know why I'm being so emotional right now. It's really making me angry." She said frowning, looking at the wall in front of her.

"It's called human nature. Are you saying you want to be devoid of any emotion?" He said flatly, like how he normally spoke to her. She turned her head toward him and she was surprised to see him look irritated. No that wasn't the right word. Perhaps confused? Or concerned?

"Temari listen to me, I know you see it as weakness but…" His eyes looked away from her for a moment but came back to her, blazing with determination and something she couldn't place.

"But if we weren't human, and if we didn't have any emotion I would not be able to do this wholeheartedly and sincerely."

Before Temari could ask what he was going to do, she felt his hand suddenly grasp the back of her neck and pull her face towards his and her lips were pressed against his. He pulled away slightly and began to kiss her more gently, almost caressing her lips with his own.

Inside Temari was in shock and didn't know what to think. Why would he kiss her? He obviously liked her but why? All she ever did was torment him right? She was too shocked to even respond to his kiss, and he seemed to notice.

He pulled back slightly and said, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have."

Temari drew back from him and he avoided her gaze. There was an awkward silence and Temari took this as her cue to leave. She slipped out of the bed and she heard him get back under the covers as she walked towards the windowsill.

Just as she was about to leave he spoke quietly but she was able to heard every word.

"Temari, I love it when you drag me places. It's fun and I don't have to suggest things to do. It's lazy I know but you seemed to like it that way to I let you have your way. I've always loved working with you and being around you. You know that inner peace you mentioned earlier? I feel that when I'm with you. Even though we bicker sometimes and don't seem like we get along I love it. I love the headstrong way you are and I wouldn't want you any other way.

"I like this side to you too Temari. This is what makes you so intellectual and selfless, the fact that you feel like you are a burden to me when you are far from it. I- I will always be here for you Temari because I care about you a lot. I will be there for you when you drag me to the marketplace and I will be there for you when you need to let your defenses fall behind closed doors. If you choose, I will be there. If you don't choose, I will still be there until you find someone who can be there for you. But I am glad you came to me tonight Temari, and I am sorry I didn't recognize you at first. I wasn't having a good dream… My door, my window is always open to you Temari, at all hours of the day that I promise you. I promise."

How could she have been so stupid to think that he didn't value her at all over the years? Perhaps it was an "emo spell" as Kankuro liked to call them, when you think for a little that the whole world is against you and hates you and that you do everything wrong. But then someone like Shikamaru comes around, gives her a nice shake, and pulls her back into reality. Still, she didn't expect him to feel so strongly for her. That she didn't know how to handle. She supposed she could leave but that might make things awkward for the next time that they met. At the same time she wanted to crawl back into bed with him and just curl up and sleep.

The latter option was much more desirable so she walked back over to the bed and slipped under the covers. Shikamaru was facing the wall and turned over in shock but then his face melted in understanding. Did she need to say that he was special to her but how special she didn't know or didn't know how to comprehend. Was it even love, could it be considered love? Temari didn't know.

She glanced sideways at him, still pondering her feelings for him. He had a patient look on his face and if she didn't say anything than it wouldn't matter. The only thing that mattered was that she came back to his bed, back to his side. Her feelings didn't make sense but were they supposed to? Maybe not. Maybe she was supposed to be lost and confused about him for a long time. And maybe someday, things would be clear.

"There is only one thing that I am sure about Shikamaru. You know what it is?" She asked him giving a sly smile.

""What?" he asked slightly smirking, recognizing playful her tone.

"That you are the most Troublesome person id the world!"

"Is that so?"

"It is."

"Well," he said as he pushed her down gently next to him "I would have to disagree with that statement."

"Everything to you is troublesome."

"Only sometimes."

"Sometimes? Like now?" She asked, her eyes feeling droopy.

"Defiantly now. But my life would be boring if it wasn't troublesome in times like these."

"Is that so?" Temari yawned as she felt Shikamaru pull the covers over her.

"That's so." She heard him say softly as just as she contently began to drift into a peaceful slumber.

End

A/N: This was something I came up with last night as I was unable to sleep. It's not my best but I felt like posting it anyway.


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